the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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