so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
