I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
