So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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