would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
