"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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