the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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