We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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