I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
