I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
