____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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