that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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