woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
