Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
