Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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