The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
