My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
