i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
