My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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