Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
