Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
