I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
