He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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