I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
