but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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