I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
