So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
