just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
