after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
