Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
