I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
