I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
