apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
