Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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