i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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