Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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