Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
