I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize