Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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