Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
