I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize