check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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