okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
