Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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