thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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