Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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