Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
