your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
