why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize