I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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