Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
