I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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