I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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