here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
