Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
