her vagine was all disorganized.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
