After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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