Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
