i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
