next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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